Sep 6th 2003 - 03:45:42pm
By : Gune
hvad er der sket med alle du nye tags?
Aug 29th 2003 - 10:36:04pm
By : Gune
The one who finds a way to eliminate lag forever and grant the coveted Zero Ping to all shall prove that "There is a God! -Phoenix
fant det på PlanetQuake
Aug 29th 2003 - 09:22:21pm
By : Gune
Aug 29th 2003 - 08:59:58pm
By : Pingvin
Du skal ikke bruge dine penge på sådan noget Gune, så heller sende dem til [Laus] så vi kan få en server
Aug 29th 2003 - 08:09:30pm
By : Gune
hvilken SoftGun en AK-47 eller en M4 A1?? SPC*????
*)(Special Purpose Carabine)
Aug 26th 2003 - 10:53:50pm
By : [Laus]Freshman
Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Oil Change $20.00
Oil Change instructions for Men:
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00..
2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20....00, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms.
Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.
18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it back to Kragen to recycle.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.
27) Drink beer.
28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
30) Drink beer.
31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) in the left boob.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Call loving wife, make bail.
50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Impound fee $75.00
-- But you know the job was done right
Aug 26th 2003 - 04:05:39pm
By : Gune
Matematikprøve hved voldsmose skole:
Jamael har en AK-47 med et 40-skuds magasin. Hvis han misser på 6 af 10 skud og skyder 13 skud på hver drive-by, hvor mange drive-by`s kan han foretage, før han skal lade om?
Sahjeed har 50 gram kokain, og han sælger 30 gram til Muhammed for 25.000 kr.
Han sælger 12 gram til Abdullah for 15.000 kr.
Hvad er restværdien af hans kokain, hvis han ikke fortynder den?
Ayatollah er alfons for 3 ludere. Hvis prisen er 400 kroner for hvert knald, hvor mange knald må hver luder lave hver dag, for at Ayatollah
skal kunne købe heroin for 4400 kroner pr. dag?
Ahmed vil fortynde ½ kg heroin for at tjene 20 % mere. Hvor mange gram rottegift skal han bruge for at kunne det?
Raul aftjener en straf på 8 år for overlagt drab. Han fik 220.000 kroner for drabet.
Hvis hans kone bruger 7000 kroner om måneden, hvor mange penge har han tilbage når han kommer ud af fængslet, og hvor mange år får han for at myrde kællingen, som har brugt alle hans penge?
Aug 26th 2003 - 02:55:36pm
Aug 26th 2003 - 12:02:51pm
Aug 26th 2003 - 11:46:13am